To Touch Heaven

I've loved the world that doesn't love me back but I just can't do it anymore. I feel threatened. There are no words to describe these feelings this time. I'm the only enemy I've ever had to face. No progress. No beginnings. I'm going to die at the hands of my discretion if I refuse to make changes. 

I'm sorry I'm not as easygoing as you would have liked.

All the love existing in me that I could ever bring forth shines in your direction.

It wraps itself around you and holds you tighter than anything you could imagine.

I'm scared to touch heaven.

I'm scared for our lips to graze.

But I can't help but breakdown at your feet because it is the only way I can feel alive.

The only time when I really exist in my body and not the fucking sky.

I press my nose against the glass and feel the cold run through my veins. Depravation is blinding. It's sharp, lingering presence cuts through the night. Water trickles down from my nose, my eyes and down my face. It allows me to see clearly. To feel, vividly. Exasperated, I clench my hands. My body quivers uncontrollably. I am in knots again. 

Love lost but never forgotten.

Unable to walk alone, I'd run to nowhere at all.