I haven't written an entry in nearly three months. Shit has changed. I will never live the way I did before this transformation. I love what has happened and what I have been through the past three months. Whether it was the end of Beth and I, or my spiritual experience with past life regression, I truly cannot recall a time in my life where I was ever this content. When the time is right, every entry before this will be erased.

Walking down, further, above ground. Synchronized march.
My mind wanders where my identity was lost.
Grey buildings form mystic figures, overlapping a pale sky.
I forget how it feels to grasp the wind.
To touch the water.
It's not sinking in.
I'm sinking in.

I walked those streets for what felt like an eternity, but I left with nothing.
I lose.
I lose.
I fucking lose.
I'm carving those words, sharpening the edges.
Into my heart.
I know nothing else.

I don't know why I was given an opportunity at life when I am convinced that I don't deserve it.